Cleaning my Own Mess

I am in a mess and the worst part is that I created it. I am in it because of a lot of mistakes and bad decisions that I have taken over time. I always pick the wrong people; chase them like my life depends on them and then wake up to reality that their life would still be the same without me. I meet lovely people all the time, but I don’t find them interesting enough. The “wrong” people are more interesting, I guess.

I don’t like the people who like me and run after those who seem hard to get. Typical.

This is just about friends and relationships. Even when it comes to work; I procrastinate, never prioritize, hate to work, and love things that won’t help my career in any manner whatsoever.

I have known it all along, but have procrastinated what I should have done a long time ago: change things that I hate. Waking up to nightmares, I found myself in a real mess a few days ago. Change was absolutely inevitable for my survival.

Fortunately, life gives you a second chance.

And I have consciously bought this chance from my life and have paid a heavy price for it.

 I have followed my instincts. I have been as whimsical as I could, because I could afford it. I was pampered and tricked into believing that there are free lunches but there are none.  But, I have paid heavily for them with my self-esteem. So, here I stand at a cross road of my life where I absolutely have to make a decision. And I have. I am going to take charge of life, have an ambition, persevere and walk the rest of the path with my head held high.

So, as a resolution, I am going to give up my whimsical actions, live with normal people (as in stick to people who like me), and set my work at the place of highest priority on my list and move forward in my life.

If I don’t like living in this mess, I will be the one who will clean it.