A moment and a Distant Memory

 As I sit alone in my room, I feel this really intense need to talk. I pick up my phone and browse through my contacts. Most names are useless, others are eliminated keeping in mind the nature of talk that I want to have. There are a million people you can crack silly jokes around and not care if they laugh, but just a handful you can call otherwise.

As I browse through the contacts, I see a name. A name which seems like a distant memory. I cannot dial the number but, I can almost imagine how the conversation would go. There is an urgent need to dial that number but, I hold on to myself. I try not to give myself away. I try to not make a fool of myself by calling. I want to hear his voice and hear him crack that sarcastic joke most people would not get, but I cannot dial that number.

I want to talk to him and have one sensible conversation where both people understand what the other is saying; a conversation where you don't have to explain the context of every other thing you say. He gets it, and it is really comforting on a tiring day.

I am almost about to surrender to the temptation, when it all comes back.
I remember a good friend but I cannot remember why I let him go. There was no reason for it, when you think about it. But, I wasn't thinking then. I was feeling. I had expectations and on the other end of the phone line was a reluctance to show concern about them. No wise words can ever be soothing enough when you are hurt.

I knew it then and I know it now, that each friendship has its own place in your life, some understand your words, others your silence. It is when you expect everything from one, that the problem begins. I wish I could let my wisdom rule over my impulses. But, I let a friend go.
I miss some clever, some light and some wise conversations sometimes. But, it is just some times. So, I put my phone down. I want to cry but, I am too tired. So, I put off the lights and go to sleep.

Tomorrow will be another day; I almost hear him say.

Tomorrow will be another day, I tell myself.