Chapter 8: Of Words and Silence

It was like any other day. We met at the metro station, had some ice-cream together, cracked a few jokes, he asked me to bunk my class, I refused and I was just about to go about my business when he asked me to stay, and held my as if he would die if I left. His emotions were always intense, but that day looking in his eyes, I knew something was wrong and that I should stay.

I asked him what he wanted to do, I would have 2 hours to kill if I bunked my class after all. He said he didn't want to do anything. He didn't talk much that day, I had to work really hard to get him to speak, couldn't believe he was the same guy who couldn't shut up, on any other day. So, we just sat on the stairs, quietly. It was when he was quiet that it struck me, how perfect we were for each other. I needed all his words to understand his love; all he needed was to look in my eyes, to hear my voice! To him words words were a luxury, to me a basic need! But, we were doing fine, he could never stop telling me how he loved me, and I could not help but smile..! And in that smile, he would know all he needed to.

In that very moment, when I had a chance to reflect did I realize that although he talked a lot, most of what he said was about me. And, most of what I talked was about me as well. that totally explained why I could not understand his silence today. so, I decided to talk to him, about him.

He didn't say much. But, I knew something was terribly wrong.

Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't notice when he suddenly looked at me and said, "That's why I love you. Because you can be there with me, not knowing everything, yet believing me and just being there."

He had a smile on his face for now, not one as bright as it usually is, but as bright as he could fake. He would tell me all about it, I knew it, all he needed was a little time. And all I needed was to understand this guy just a little more. Words, you know, can express a lot of things, but his sadness wasn't one of them. I could cry and tell him all that was wrong. Or he would just read my mind, but after this meet, words were a little more redundant, his silence a great deal precious.

Chapter 7: Of Love and other things.

Everybody around me was changing. So was I. Browsing through the pictures of my old friends from school and college, it seemed like a century since I had last known them. They had weird haircuts, dressed differently, a friend who barely had hair on his face in school, now sported a chin patch. It was interesting to see all of it.

Looking at all of them made me take a look at my pictures as well. Browsing through them, I wondered if my friends would think the same when they looked at my pictures.

I shrugged. They obviously would. But, then who said change was bad? Look at me, just two months ago. A stupid lonely girl, painfully shy and hardly confident enough to look a stranger in the eye. And now, I could boldly express my views, had opinions, could look anybody in the eye and talk and give them a piece of my mind. These changes were hardly evident to somebody who didn't know me well enough. but, I knew I was changing and I loved the new "ME".

A stranger who had walked into my life from nowhere had something to do with it. In the last couple of days, I had accomplished a lot in my personal life. I had realized that I was just as important as the next person and that if I could not love myself, I could barely think about loving somebody else.

Shashank had given me a chance to grow. He had made me talk and those conversations had somehow changed me.

It had been only a couple of nights ago that he had professed his love for me. I was scared as hell. The thought of being in love had crossed my mind a million times, but being loved in return was far from my expectations.

Nevertheless, fate always intervenes and here I was.

The day next to being proposed to, I went to my class as usual. I did not want to think about it but, my stupid room mate could not stop talking about it. To get rid of her,I left for my class a little early.

Gosh! What a relief! It was a beautiful dream coming true, and this girl could not let me relish, savour or just cherish it my way!

Waiting for him at the metro station, I decided to browse through some books at a tiny bookstore near our cafe at the station.

A lot of junk is making its way into the publishing world these days. A look at these books that flood the market, is highly irritating. I pushed the junk away to take a look at the real literature. I was particularly pleased to find a book by James Joyce. Seemed like I had hit gold.

Just then, somebody placed a copy of "P.S. I Love You" in front me. Peeved at it, I turned around to see who it was. And there he stood, with a bouquet of beautiful roses.

I blushed and smiled. I didn't know how to react to it. No idea whatsoever. I had contemplated what I would do when I meet Shashank earlier all day. Could not come up with a thing.

And there I stood in a situation, I had never imagined I would be in.

I gave my most charming smile and accepted the roses. And turned to around to pick up a book from the junk I had just put aside. It was titled, "Just Friends?". My witty friend was quick to find a book titled, "Let's fall in love". I didn't want to say anything. I knew he could read my mind anyway. So, I just smiled and walked away with my bouquet of red roses close to my heart.

Chapter 6: A pleasant shock or a jolting surprise!

"Baatien kuch ankahi si, kuch ansuni si honi lagi...shayad yahi hai pyaar..." sang my room mate as I talked to Shashank on a winter night, snuggled in my blanket. It had been 2 months since we had first met, our talks still didn't seem to come to an end. Talking about almost anything under the sky: books, characters in a book, movies, TV shows, almost anything.

It had become a daily ritual. We would get the same book issued from British Council library and then read and discuss it everyday. I would tell him how much I loved or hated a character. He would just listen, as if it was the most important thing in the world. He was in the middle of jobs and I was yet to join my office at Pune. We had all the time in the world and we spent it doing what we loved most.

I met him after my class at Rajiv Chowk metro station, every other day and we would sit there for a while, and talk. We never had much in common to talk about in the beginning but then one day he suggested that we discuss books. It was something both of us shared love for.

That night was supposed to be no different. But it was. He asked me to come online, said he badly needed to see me. "Why do you want to see me?", I asked. This was the first time that he asked me to do that. We had not been able to meet over the weekend. I had been sick. "Just come online, listen to me for once!", he insisted.

I did as asked, a little reluctantly. "Oh! this feels so much better. I was anxious all day, looking at you makes me feel relaxed", he said. I blushed. I hated it that he could see that. "I love you, Deepali!", he said. I was out of the blue and I could not believe my ears. I wanted to shut the laptop and go hide in my blanket. I almost had, when he said it again. "I love you and even if you shut this laptop and go away, I will see you tomorrow and tell you the same thing again. So stay here and listen to me." It was a weird moment. How could he guess what was on my mind? But he could. He had been doing that since we had first met.

"I do not want you to reply to that. I just wanted to let you know, I love you. I could have said it weeks ago, I have felt this way for a while now. I just wanted to be sure about it, before I said it."

I was dumbstruck. I had nothing to say. So, I really shut the laptop and snuggled into my bed. My room-mate was right there and saw everything happen. She was happy for me. She had a smile on her face, unlike me. My face was expressionless.
Everything happened wide-eyed.